Don’t Wear Leather Pants to My Grandmother’s

Yeah, I’ve been gone for forever, I know I know sue me.  I was on a mother fucking boat.  I’ve had a lot going on in my life, but this is no place for that!  This is simply a place for hood thongs and making fun of Gwenyth Paltrow. While I was gone, though, I [...]

Gwyneth Paltrow Is A Dick

Let’s talk about Gwyneth Paltrow.  She’s kind of a dick.   I’m wayyy past her naming her kid “Apple” with that song-stealing Chris Martin (if we can name our kids after cities, months, and genders, why not fruit?). But this whole, “I’m going to launch my own website about nothing and name it after a [...]